2 balls, electrical tape and scissors

So you're probably wondering where this is going based on the title. Just a guess. We'll get there, friend. But you should probably buy me dinner before we get to that. 

So let's kill time and talk about your shoulders, shall we? Shoulders are the most complicated and amazing joints in the body. When the shoulder is not being referred to as a pain in the ass, it is often described as a triple hinge. 4 joints make up the shoulder, so that means a lot of things can go wrong with shoulders. In addition to that, when something is wrong with the shoulder, we look at the next joint up & down the kinetic chain. Chances are there is something restricting movement in the upper back, which is composed of 11 joints between 12 vertebrae. That something I'm speaking of is usually a lack of mobility in those 11 joints. This lack of mobility leads to all kinds of B.S., because the stiff joint's laziness and inability to do it's job overworks all the other other joints involved in a movement. Here's an analogy: Water always wants to run downstream to the ocean, and if it washes out a riverbank or breaches a levee, SFW, get over it. The body wants to do the work that it is given, and it doesn't care how many joints it overtaxes to do it! And that's why people blow out their rotator cuffs, for example.

One of my favorite reads in 2013 was the oh-my-god-those-crossfitters-are-crazy, instant classic, functional mobility bible, Becoming a Supple Leopard, by Dr. Kelley Starrett, a physical therapist and Crossfit gym owner who in the past few years has developed a huge following through workshops and seminars, and with his website www.mobilitywod.com. Why do I love this book so much? Thought you'd never ask, my friend! Let me tell you why I'm so In love with this book:

Layman's terms. Most books about health and fitness read like instructions for a bookshelf from Ikea, and not just because it has been translated into every human language, but especially the rarest Scandinavian languages so Vikings at the North Pole can put together a Grundtal valet stand to store  wooden shoes. I'm convinced that more than a few titles in the the exercise & fitness section of your local Amazon website were written a cardboard cut out of John Kerry. Yeah, they are that boring usually. Unless you're a nerdy trainer like me or have found that roofies no longer work on your dates, reading a book like The Core: Look at These Photos of Abs That Are Just OK will induce a lobotomy-like state in even the most paranoid, insomniac meth addict.

Call me old-fashioned (but not in a steam-punk, handlebar mustache, anchor-tattoo-like-the-rest-of-Portland way), because I think information that is accessible is more likely to have an impact than arcane musings by people with more letters after their names than relevance to a wider audience than academia. 

One of my favorite parts in the K-Starr (Starrett's gangsta name) book is an overview of the peanut, or double lacrosse ball, which is two lacrosse balls held together with electrical tape. The uses for double lacrosse ball are for joint mobilization and to release trigger points. This frees up jammed nerves and tissues, so the body can function properly. One of the biggest benefits to using this method is to relieve back pain, when combined with the right stretches and exercises.

Many of my clients and fellow trainers are using methods we read about in Supple Leopard. The ones who aren't afraid to look like total weirdos. That's what commitment looks like, and weirdos are a good thing! In fact, it was a trainer I work with who introduced me to this kind of mobility training. So thanks to my buddy Chris Williams, I get to teach you to make a peanut!

Here's the tutorial on how to make a double lacrosse ball. It's easy to do, mine took just a few minutes.  

Supplies:

• Scissors
• Electrical tape
• 2 lacrosse balls (regular size)

Step 1:

Hold tightly and begin to wind the tape around your balls. I love cheap laughs... and winces, too.

Step 2

As you wrap, start to rotate the balls so the tape starts to cover in one direction, slightly overlapping the edges and completely overlapping on both ends for a neat look. 

Continue wrapping till all you see is an electrical tape replica of the Graf Zeppelin. Your double lacrosse ball should look factory-made-by-robots if you follow these instructions well. 

Now pretend that your creation is what would happen if the planet earth had a baby with Mr. Peanut. Because it has no legs, it would fall over onto its side. Cut the tape, but make sure the cut is on the equator, not over Chicago.

Step 3

Begin wrapping electrical tape around the equator, instead of going north-south like before. Be careful not to wrap too tight too soon. It will make your innocent peanut look a bit more BDSM than it should.

Step 4

Once the peanut is all wrapped up, and the middle section seems firm enough, make sure the tape is on the equator again. 

Cut the umbilical cord, and your back's new best friend is born!

All done. 

Here are some articles about methods of breaking up matted down tissues to restore movement to the body.

http://www.mobilitywod.com/2012/07/clear-the-t-spine-now-we-can-start-talking-shoulders/

http://breakingmuscle.com/mobility-recovery/4-great-tools-for-stretching-and-mobility

Video for mobilizations using the peanut. 

http://youtu.be/SWrkZUn_xnI

http://youtu.be/iDIpEWASS3g

For some of you, all of this anatomy and physiology can be pretty overwhelming, while to others this probably looks like a how to wipe your butt blog. It is all about taking steps in the healthiest direction possible. It's a process. And to sum it up, a quote one of my favorite yoga gurus, Dave Romanelli - enjoy your journey. 

-GB

5 Questions About Exercise

Today I have 5 questions to ask my readers about exercise. Let me give a little backstory.

I hate most sports. I've never been good at things like soccer, football, and baseball, possess an extreme lack coordination under pressure, and have a hard time keeping up with all the moving parts of the game in order to keep up. Basically, that means falls and head injuries are a big part of anything that ends in -ball. That doesn't mean that I am sedentary, though. There are ways of getting movement that I like (walking, lifting weights, yoga), and even though some parts of my exercise routine are not my favorite (anything that's not dead-lifts), for the most part, I enjoy what I do.

Some people just don't like exercise. That's OK. You might think that I shouldn't say things like that, that it might not be in my best interest because then no one would train with me. But americans will be out of shape and need help whether or not I speak my mind. I'm not putting myself out of work. I wish I had that problem.

I want to find out more about how other people like to exercise. Take a few minutes to complete this 5-question multiple choice survey and help me find out what you like to do to stay healthy. Help me figure out how to eventually be unemployed. ;-)

Take the survey! <------ Do it

Blaming the Obese

I'm sure everyone has wondered at some point, "Why do people get fat?" I know I have many times. Once was at a baseball game. I was a teenager then, and I was eating a corn dog (a nasty habit I kicked not too long after I stopped using heroin).  I looked over and saw a fat guy who was eating a corn dog, too. His belly was enormous, spilling out of the bottom of his untucked blue polo shirt. He gnawed my corn dog's identical twin from under his baseball cap. I wondered why he was so fat. We ate the same. "He just eats more than me," I figured and went on with my skinny, attractive life. And since I was good looking and normal-sized, I eventually lost my virginity. But this is not letters to Playboy, and I realize I was lucky to not have y poor health show on the outside. I would find out years later what eating the same as that fat guy at the baseball game does to somebody on the inside. It's not pretty. But that is another story for another time.

We are told that obesity is the cause of disease. But what if disease is the cause of obesity?

I'm a fitness professional by trade. My occupation allows me to meet with hundreds of people every year, and find out where their heads are at when it comes to lifestyle, nutrition and exercise. Where is the average person's head? Up their ass, usually. It's not the person's fault, and I don't want to give the impression that it is. I just want to find out what they know. One thing I make sure of is to ask people to walk me through a day in their life, as if they ate and exercised perfectly, just for one day. That way I can see what someone thinks I want to hear. Unfortunately, it's usually not what I want to hear!

My wife shared Peter Attiya's TED video with me yesterday, and I watched it with my jaw on the floor. This video is a great example of exciting new ideas in the health care and health & fitness industries - two fields that traditionally have been separate, but should not be anymore.

Attiya's talk highlights unsuccessful attitudes toward weight loss. Attitudes I see every day from doomed-to-fail gym members who tell me why they are going to do exactly the same thing that didn't help them before. Attitudes I have heard from doctors and trainers and dietitians. No wonder Americans are fat, sick and confused! Not to be a spoiler, but his story about his own health was something that hit home for me. This video should motivate anyone working in health care, fitness, or dietetics to learn more about the obesity epidemic. It is a challenge to everyone to change the way we think, and to question everything we think we know. 

Sun Salutation

Winter Solstice 2013

On the darkest day of the year, we reset our karma by doing the sun salutation, or Surya Namaskar, 108 times. As we salute the sun we light a symbolic fire in our hearts and recognize fire's potential for destruction, and also creation.

Our breath mirrors the natural rhythm of the tide, changing seasons and cycles, birth, youth, maturity and death. The series of peaks an valleys in earth's geography and also a reflection of the contrast between happy and sad, tragedy and humor.

Life is one big giant yin-yang, if you think about it. The early 90s want it back. That was supposed to be funny.

Go set fire to something. Namaste.

Bulletproof Tea

Intermittent fasting is a hot topic in health and fitness right now. You may have already checked out the bulletproof executive or Precision Nutrition article on IF and Bulletproof Fasting.

But even if you haven't, check this out. Even if you would never fast, this is a tasty beverage. So point  that pinky out and get to sippin'!

If you are a fan of feeling awesome all the time and want some kind of tasty beverage (without the addictive, insulin-spiking, inflammatory effects of carbohydrate), you need to try this:

Step 1

Make tea. Pick something that is naturally caffeine-free (unless you want to be up past your bedtime). 

Step 2

Transfer your tea into a mason jar. Or something else that will work for step 4.

Step 3

Add coconut oil. Or unsalted grass-fed butter.

Step 4

Use an immersion blender to emulsify.

Step 5

Serve it like an eviction notice!

Caveman-ifesto

I was reading a blog today and came across a primal journal entry written by a young guy who is trying to live a primal lifestyle in order to balance his metabolism and lose weight.
As I read it, I thought to myself, "This is really cool in a way that is both honest and a little cheesy." I didn't use that exact wording, but you get the idea. I read on and I was a little bit humbled by the kid's honesty with himself. It is very easy to spot the mistakes of others, and it is a constant struggle to keep my world view in line with reality!
I have decided to work on a manifesto, for a couple of reasons, really. First, I love the word "manifesto." It sounds rebellious, violent, rude, communist, defiant and rock 'n roll. Makes me think if I was alive in the earlier part of the 20th century, I would have been one of those crazy bohemian pinkos making pamphlets about civil rights and hanging out with writers and musicians and other trash. I dig it. Second, a manifesto is a set of values, a code to live by. Once the mind is clear of Marxist associations, the word itself smacks of personal integrity and the desire to see the world in a state of balance. Sounds pretty cool, right?

TV serial killer Dexter Morgan has a code, a manifesto, and now so do I. Check it out:

My Caveman-ifesto
Today I will live how I am supposed to: free of B.S.
I will avoid distractions and focus on what is important.
I will create balance in my life: I will not give without taking or take without giving.

Stop spinning your wheels

There are a lot of ways to waste time, and a lot of reasons to do it. I like to waste time on weekends, when my wife and I play hooky from household chores and go on a walk instead. In pretty much all the other areas of life, making efficient use of time is important to everyone.

Think about it. If you are a typical red-blooded American, you probably wake up at the last possible second, get ready for work, microwave some sort of hot/lean/egg/meat/cheese "pocket" or stuffed toaster pastry thing and eat it in the car on your way to work, washing it down with a cup of coffee from one of those Keurig machines that people seem to love so much. Why? Because it's fast!

Maybe you go to the gym on the way home, flip the beast mode switch because if you work out harder you don't have to work for as long, right? not seeing changes yet? You are probably missing a few pieces of the puzzle. You are spinning your wheels on that one.

People don't like to waste time. I hate wasting time. I have turned away clients who refuse to commit to at least 3 months working with me. Why? Because time is the one thing we cannot get more of. Money? Sure. Friends? Unless you're a complete asshole, yes. And so on...

I have wasted plenty of time in my life. If I think about all the unproductive conversations, relationships, and jobs I have had-commitments that have gotten me nowhere-it could give even a badass like Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry or Bruce Willis in Die Hard a panic attack.

So if you are looking for shortcuts, go get some steroids, or liposuction, or T3 shots, or a fake tan, or HGH, some Adderall to wake you up and Ambien to knock you out (F.Y.I. you might kill someone in your "sleep"). The law of action-reaction boils down to one thing: there a consequences. Take steroids, grow bitch-tits. Lipo, you might die on the table or have cottage-cheese belly. Do T3, the body will reduce production and you will have to take it forever. Adderall affects norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin pathways in the brain, possibly leading to depression and adrenal fatigue. Although Ambien is "less likely" to get you hooked than pharmaceuticals like benzodiazepines, there are still unpleasant side effects that should be considered. Oh yeah, you rape and kill in your sleep. 

The only way to truly reduce the amount of guessing you need to do to get those results in the gym is to find out more about your body.

Exactly how much body fat are you burning when you ride the bike? Run? Walk? Lift weights?

How many calories do you need each day and from which sources?

Is your level of stress affecting the production of other hormones in the body?

When is cortisol highest in your body throughout the day?

How is your blood glucose affected by the meal you just ate?

Why do these things matter? That is too much for this blog post. I guess I'll just have to write a follow-up.

The point is: stop wring your time and find out what your options really are. With whatever you a struggling with.

If it is your weight, do that lab test I have been telling you about for the last few months. If it is stress, reduce it by using adaptogens like coleus forskholii and natural sedatives like valerian root and melatonin. If it is glucose, get a glucose tear and test throughout the day, log your food, compare notes with your trainer or dietitian. If it is an unproductive relationship or job, maybe stop wasting your time waiting for things to change and move on with your life. And while you're at it, stop killing people in your sleep, it's just weird!