The crap week (or two)

It seems that among awesomeness there is always some crap. Think of a band you you love. I bet there is a crap song or two, or somebody in the band that is a weak link.

Let's use Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground as an example. I loved Velvet Underground, but there are some crap moments in there, like when Nico would sing.  She opened her beautiful Swedish mouth and some crap fell out. To be exact: I can't stand the way she indefinitely prolongs the "s" sound. Otherwise I me and Nico are cool.

Another Example is the LP I Think We're Alone Now by Tommy James and the Shondells. Although it is filled with syrupy 60s pop (which I love), there are a few tracks that are just gross. I literally run across the house to pick up the needle and move it when Let's be lovers comes on. I hate the bassline and the lyrics. That song can pretty much go to hell.
Which proves my point that within every solid album or band there are a few things that suck.

Speaking of downers, I have had some setbacks to my goal of being totally jacked by the October deadline for this bodybuilding thing. I am hoping to weigh another 20 pound by then, but things are looking difficult.

A few weeks back I had some knee pain and figured I should go get it checked out. I found out I have tight IT bands that are pulling my kneecaps to the outside edges of my knees. Physical therapy exercises - done.

by the way, if you are having IT band problems, don't buy chicken tenderloins because when you cook them and then try to eat them you have to remove the IT band while you do and that is really wierd. It made my knees feel like jello being scraped down a chalkboard (does that work?) during meals.

Then I got some kind of bug and lost 3 of the 4 pound I had eaten all those chicken tenderloins for.
At the doctor they gave me a prescription for some antibiotics for hydrocodone (LOR-TAB). And they were generous with it too. I decided not to get the Lor-Tab prescription filled since I am not a junkie or a wuss.
Ironically, you used to have to get a prescription for aspirin while heroin was an over-the-counter drug. Fact.
Welcome to Baptist minor medical center have some Lor-Tab! They should just put it in a candy bowl up front.

At least I was still up one pound. As soon as I got better I hit the weights in addition to doing my physical therapy exercises. No big deal, I'm just awesome, that's all.

I must have been putting some kind of cocky asshole energy out there or something because a few days later I woke up pretty much paralyzed with back pain and muscle spasms sent to me from satan himself.
It was like the unverse was saying, "HAHA you are going to be a short little bastard until you DIE!!!!"
Has your back ever hurt so bad it hurt to breathe? It was like that. I considered getting that Lor-Tab prescription filled.
My regular chiropractor was not in the office that day, so I went to this quack chiropractor who started obsessing over my neck and I had to remind him my back was the problem. then he told me my muscles were full of poison and that I needed to heat my back to let the poison leach out, which is the last thing you should do to an inflamed area. I think he just wanted me to re-injure myself so I would be back soon.
But just to be clear, I will not be back. I will be going to my regular chiropractor who plays music from his amazing record collection and there is a dog running through the office.

So that is what happened the past couple weeks. Right there in the middle of a life that I really enjoy there is a crap week (or two). It is Newton's Law. Things eventually go back in the right direction.

Universe: I am ready for some more awesome. And I will get that 20 pounds.

It is official...

.. I have been talked into training for and competing in a bodybuilding competition. I should tell you, it wasn't difficult.
The other trainers at my job invited me to join their quest and I was like "OK, I'll get super jacked." and it then I got really excited because I had set a goal for myself.
This thing is in 8 months and I just realized I will have not only walk across the stage nearly nude, but strike poses that present and show off what I have been working so hard to gain. The only reasonable options are to work hard, eat right and invest in a case of PAM cooking spray. Oh, and some kind of spray tan. Extra orange please.

The eating right is harder than it seems. I have a super high metabolism and eating a chicken breast every time i take a breath is harder than you might think. yesterday was my first full day eating like a body builder. My fridge is loaded full of tilapia, chicken, frozen broccoli (convenience), brown rice, and the most disgusting eggwhite product I have ever had the duty to mash down my gob. seriously it tastes like something they would serve in a Charles Dickens book. I have to take a break now and try not to vomit up chicken tenderloin.
Out of convenience and trying to save time I have put together my meals in the laziest way possible and maybe that will screw up my plans of becoming gary the man-beast by november. But I am counting on my iron will to make me choke down this disgusting and boring assortment of gruel.
My boss/trainer says I can still eat my beloved PB&Js but will have to wash them down with my 700 calorie per serving weight gainer. As a snack.

More to come next week