March 1, 2001 wt. 150 pounds. I should have taken a before picture, but whatever. The moment for that is gone like Lindsay Lohan's career and hot-girl-next-door looks. These days she reminds me of that old crone in the Princess Bride. A total shame.
April 21, 2011 wt. 163 pounds. I have been force-feeding myself and knocking back weight gainer more frequently than one of those really annoying drunk girls knocks back shots at a party.
And much like a drunken starlet, I appreciate the compliments about my chest, why yes it is bigger than the last time you saw it, thank you for noticing!
Although bodybuilding is a total vanity sport, the coolest thing about it is how strong you get. It feels awesome to know that should I have to rescue anybody from a burning house, I don't necessarily have to use the door. I can just crash through the wall and say "Oh, yeah" like the kool-aid pitcher! How awesome is that?
So I have gained abouut 13 pounds in 7 weeks (including 2 weeks of soul-crushing setbacks). So that's really like 5 weeks. According to my very inaccurate off-the-cuff estimation (which I am doing in my head right now), that is between 1.8 and 4.4 pounds per week, depending on how you want to look at it.
So anyway, I'm getting huge. So next time you see me - bring me some food.
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